Shaking Hands With the Devil
Today I made a deal with Satan. Why? Because he offered me a gift I could not refuse. America Online sent me an offer for a free set of Altec computer speakers (including a subwoofer) if I signed up for a free trial of their “Bring your own access” broadband plan. I can always use another set of speakers, so I signed up. Since I already have broadband, I didn’t need to dial any numbers, or do anything besides install the AOL software and sign in (oh, and give them my credit card number). I carefully read the terms of service and all the fine print, and it seems that because I’m not using any ‘premium services’ like their music streaming, and I’m not dialing any of their phone numbers, then I won’t be charged anything at all, assuming I cancel within 45 days. However, I get the speakers just for signing up for the trial.
Since you have to make an actual phone call to cancel service, they are probably banking on people not wanting to tell a person to their face that you don’t want their service. Its easy to push a button that says “Cancel my Account”, but its a lot harder to tell that to someone to their face. Of course, the monkey on the other end of the phone doesn’t give a flying crap about whether or not you cancel, but they are probably trained to sound ever-so-slightly disappointed when they get a cancelation phone call, just to tear you apart inside. Humans are very easy to manipulate. If you give something to someone, they immediately feel a responsibility to ‘repay’ the favor somehow. This is why promotional items, even things as small as pens with a company logo, work. You read the name of the company, you accept the gift, and some small part of you feels an obligation to the company now. You might think, “Oh, I’m screwing them, because they paid for the pen, and now I’m just going to use it without ever patronizing the company,” and in some cases, maybe you aren’t going to ever patronize the company. However, the effect, over a large group of people, is quite powerful. There is no free lunch, you pay with your emotions, your desires, and your loyalties.
All things considered however, I’m still playing their game, and getting the speakers. I used AOL service for about a year a very long time ago, back when local ISPs barely existed, and AOL, Compuserve and Prodigy were battling for dominance, and I still feel like they owe me for the experience. This will help settle the score between AOL and myself. Or maybe I’m just a tool, bending to the will of the dark side.
Either way, in a few weeks you’ll either see a post from me showing that my little plan was successful, or you’ll see a post indicating that the devil’s word is worth exactly what you think it is, and display a scan of my soiled credit card statement.
Thursday 14 Aug 2003 | Sam | Personal