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One year and five months later, boring old "CNN":http://www.cnn.com reports the following: "Gillette Unveils 5-bladed Razor With Two Lubricating Strips":http://money.cnn.com/2005/09/14/news/fortune500/gillette/index.htm

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Gillette has escalated the razor wars yet again, unveiling a new line of razors on Wednesday with five blades and a lubricating strip on both the front and back.

The Onion editors are psychic I tell you. From now on, no news besides The Onion.

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