Of sacred underwear and hot 1840s pickup lines

I just finished Fawn M. Brodie‘s book, No Man Knows My History. This biography of Joseph Smith II, founder of Mormonism, is fascinating for both its contents and for how it impacted the author’s life. While raised as a Mormon, and considered a respected biographer as she gained access to the Mormon archives for her research, she lost her Mormon faith. (You can go ahead and make the assumption that her book is not appreciated by many in the Mormon faith). The Mormon archives are one of the few places to find a lot of material on Joseph Smith’s life, so I appreciate that she had access long enough to get a lot of the carefully researched material into book form; but I can imagine it was frustrating to lose faith in writing a biography of the person so well respected as part of your religion. Also, you might notice that this is one of those books that the reviews on Amazon either give 5 or 1 stars to. Again, this is because while it is a well written and fascinating biography; Joseph Smith’s life as presented in the book hardly makes one think well of him, and your perception of the man and the religion would surely color your opinion of a book that presents him as someone who received revelations that seemed to almost always benefit himself before others.

I must admit, having extraordinarily convenient revelations is an excellent way to secure things you want as well as reinforce how well-connected you are to god. Also, having sacred objects that no one is allowed to see, but only feel through an opaque sack is also an excellent way to show you are holy. Thirdly, telling a young woman that god told you to make her your spiritual wife ASAP or else you would be slain by an angel is apparently a way hot pickup line in the 1840s. (And BTW, god said “don’t tell the first wife about this, babe.”) If anyone has success with this line in the present, please let me know, I’m very curious.

One of the author’s strengths lies in explaining how popular explanations for life in the American Frontier worked their way into Mormon belief. For example, meeting large groups of native people, who built houses, weapons, objects of beauty, and other things believed to be European inventions was completely confusing to the settlers. It was not uncommon for many settlers to believe that the Native Americans were actually descendants of one of the lost tribes of Israel, and furthermore, that a white person returning them to the Christian faith would ensure that the converted natives would turn white skinned. Wow. I can’t imagine the explanations used to tell Native Americans why they would want this.

There is much I don’t know about Mormon faith. And I am would believe that much of the Masonic-influenced ceremonies have changed greatly from Joseph Smith’s time. But Masonry had a resurgence in popularity around the same time that many of the ceremonies in the temple began. This section on the original ceremony for a man joining the Mormon priesthood and donning the sacred undergarments was very interesting:

“The Masonic square and compass were cut into the garment on the breast and a slash was made across the knee. In the beginning the cut across the knee was apparently deep enough to penetrate the flesh and leave a scar, but this practice was eventually abandoned as a result of protests from the Mormon women. There was also a slash in the garment across the abdomen, symbolic of the disemboweling that would be the fate of anyone who revealed the sacred secrets.”

 excerpt from No Man Knows My History, by Fawn M. Brodie

Smith had recently become a Free Mason along with most of his trusted leadership, and was deeply interested in the rituals associated with the group. However, I am willing to assume that the difficulty in finding out more about the sacred undergarments today (as a non-Mormon friend of mine in Salt Lake strives to do) is a result of dire consequences warned to new Mormons even now if you reveal any sacred Mormon secrets. Sorry anyway, Brian, and good luck.

One Response to “Of sacred underwear and hot 1840s pickup lines”

  1. on 08 Feb 2009 at 2:08 am Dennis

    I’ll volunteer to try the “avenging angel” pickup. It can’t work any worse than anything else I’ve tried lately…

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