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It’s true. Two weeks ago, Berg finally agreed to do it! He had been thinking about it for quite a while, but needed some friendly and a little liquid encouragement (hey, being in engineering can make you more fashion-conservative). He’s quite pleased with the end result, though, as am I. And I get the impression he’s getting a great reaction out of his fellow students, too. Perhaps I will be giving other Aerospace Engineering students mohawks soon…

Berg’s hair is irrepressibly curly, which makes for a mohawk that practically stands up (or poofs up) on its own. Sam’s mohawk, while incredibly long (perhaps 6 inches at the apex now), is so straight that it takes 1/2 can of foul-smelling hair spray and an assistant to stand it up. Thus, he rarely stands his up, certainly not for his recent activities, which have included multiple TV appearances. It’s too bad…I think he would be an excellent speaker for his field, whether or not his hair pushes him to 6 feet tall. But he prefers to keep it down except for special occasions, which is why I haven’t posted any pictures of his mohawk on here. Encourage Sam to spike it, and you’ll see some then.

So how have things been? Same as usual, I suppose. I’m repainting my desert shoes – from green to red, and today I’m making root beer from scratch. The recipe will be posted if it’s successful, but there are days of steps before we’ll know. Root beer making is a very interesting project, however – requiring a variety of chipped barks, and created using a mixture of molasses and yeast that both carbonates the beverage and provides a low alcoholic content. Not enough to even qualify it as a wine cooler, but enough that modern companies don’t even try – as we all know, HFCS and compressed carbon dioxide are cheaper and more predictable.

I have a not-so-secret goal in this root beer project. A nearby local restaurant, better known for its well-loved alcoholic brewed products, makes the best root beer I’ve ever had. It’s not super-sweet, but full of flavor (and scent…not the best for a very pregnant friend newly sensitive to strange smells). It’s clear they’re doing something other root beer producers are not, as no bottled products (I’ve tried quite a few in the last couple months) have quite mimicked the combination of flavors. I have some ideas for how to figure out their recipe, but for now it’s the old-fashioned way: make my own, continue to drink theirs, and try to sort out which flavor compounds need tweaking in my own recipe. Failing that, I wonder what kind of offer would convince one of the hip employees to share the original recipe with me?

Madalene and I started a batch of White Zinfandel brewing the other day. It is progressing nicely, and is already quite drinkable. Because it is in active fermentation right now, it has become quite carbonated, and very sweet. Its like a cross between champagne and that ‘non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice’ you see in stores around Thanksgiving. It still tastes a bit ‘yeasty’ but that is to be expected, given the vigorous fermentation. In a week or so, we’ll be moving it to its secondary fermenter for about 3 weeks, and then bottling. We had to buy a case of wine bottles, and 4 one gallon growlers to accept the large 23L batch. We also had to get a corker and a bag of corks, which are anything but cheap. Oh well, each batch we do requires slightly less equipment purchase than the batch before, and soon we’ll have everything we need without having to buy ingredients as well as some new piece of equipment. The problem so far is that we’ve done champagne, beer and now a still wine, all of which have a few specialty bits that are only needed for that style.

Also, we are starting a new rule! We aren’t giving out wine and beer anymore, we are trading it for bottles! Bottles, oddly enough, are just about the most expensive part of this whole process. Originally we asked that people return the bottles to us when they were done, but it turns out that most people wanted to keep the bottles because of the charming label we designed for them. So instead, we are now asking for any bottle in return, or a few bottles if possible. If its not convenient, or you live far away, don’t worry about it, since we aren’t going to be very strict, but we are asking that if its convenient, people save a few bottles for us. We are in need of the following types of bottles:

• 12 ounce, 16 ounce and 22 ounce glass beer bottles. They must be ‘pop top’ style returnable bottles, twist-offs do not work with our capper. Also, amber is the only color that will work well for me. Light makes beer taste ‘skunky’ and green and clear bottles make that process much swifter. Also, if you have any Grolsch style swing-top beer bottles, those would be great!
• 750mL or 1.5L glass wine bottles. These can be green, amber or clear, but need to be the kind that takes a cork, not a screw-cap.
• 1 gallon, 4L, 3L or 2L glass growlers. These are generally large clear jugs, and often come with a small handle on the neck. You see them most often in stores on the bottom shelf of the wines, brands like Carlo Rossi and so forth. The ‘jug-wine’ inside them typically isn’t very high quality, but its cheap, and the bottles are good (filling one 4L bottle saves us 5 regular bottles!). These typically use a screw cap, which is fine, but make sure the cap is in good shape and not torn up. We can get replacement caps for some sizes, but not all.

• Champagne bottles. These are usually 750m, and green. They need to be the kind that took a champagne style cork (the kind that looks like a mushroom) and a wire cage over the cork. Screw caps don’t work for us. The original cork could have been real cork or plastic, either kind will work for us. We don’t need the cork or the cage, just the bottle.

  For all bottles, the easiest for us is if the labels are already removed, and the inside of the bottle is rinsed clean. The best way to remove labels is to simply soak the bottle in hot water for an hour or so, after which the label will slip right off, and you can use a plastic scrubby pad to remove the bit of glue left behind. For cleaning the inside of the bottle, the best way is to simply rinse the bottle immediately after use, and then you don’t have to worry about it again. If there is caked on stuff at the bottom, then soak in hot water and a weak detergent solution. In either case, if there is a stubborn label that won’t come off, or something weird stuck to the bottom, or if you just don’t have time to clean them or remove labels, don’t worry about it.

  So anyway, in a month or two we’ll have Zinfandel ready, and as soon as the Zinfandel moves to the secondary fermenters, I’ll fill the primary again with a batch of California Common (Steam) beer, which would be ready in 6 to 8 weeks. This is a fun hobby!

Friday I bottled some of the beer I’ve been making. Last week I had racked the beer to the secondary fermenter, but I had five gallons of beer, and only a 3 gallon secondary fermenter. How this had slipped past me before I am not sure. Needless to say, 2 gallons of beer had to remain in the primary fermenter. This in itself isn’t a bad thing, since many people advocate not using secondary fermenters at all, and just bottling straight from the primary.

One problem with leaving the beer on the primary fermenter is that is that beer likes to condition in bulk for as long as possible. Conditioning is the part of the fermenting that takes place after all the sugar has already been consumed. Most of the yeast goes dormant, and the little that is left runs around cleaning up byproducts of fermentation, many of which aren’t very palatable. This improves the flavor over time.

However, only a small portion of the yeast is doing the conditioning work, most of the yeast has gone dormant and fallen to the bottom of the fermenter. If you let beer condition for a long time in the primary fermenter, then all this dormant yeast and precipitated protein on the bottom of the fermenter (called the “trub”) can cause trouble. The proteins can get shaken back up into the beer, potentially adding undesirable flavors. These proteins can also be eaten by yeast that hasn’t gone dormant yet, which produces unpleasant flavors. Also, the yeast can autolyze, which is a form of yeasty suicide, which releases so much disgusting stuff into the beer that it usually becomes undrinkably bad.

Moving the beer to a secondary fermenter keeps only the small amount of active yeast that is still in suspension, and leaves behind the potentially trouble causing trub. Now conditioning can progress unhindered. I had to bottle the beer that was still on the primary fermenter this weekend, before something bad happened. However, the beer that I got into the secondary will be bottled next weekend, benefiting from another week in fermentation. My hope is that the two sub-batches will both be of equal quality. Theoretically, the beer that made it to the secondary will be a little better, but that is just theory. This is actually a good thing, because it will give me an opportunity to directly compare beer that had a chance to ferment on a secondary fermenter with beer that had gone straight from the primary to bottles. With something as variable-rich as brewing, theory sometimes has to take a back seat to a simple taste test.

Anyway, I’ll probably be using the bottles as gifts for people who aren’t in St. Louis, because of their universal portability. For the St. Lunatics, I’ll be kegging the beer, saving me the trouble of saving up, cleaning and washing another 30 bottles. I’ve ordered a small keg-like system, called a Tap-A-Draft that uses 6 liter bottles and a small CO₂ injector system that is used to keep 15 PSI on the beer at all times, keeping it fresh and carbonated. Instead of using big tanks like real kegging systems, this one uses 8 gram cartridges. The system is pretty cheap, and has gotten some very good reviews. It looks ideal for someone like myself who wants to keg beer, but doesn’t have the money or the space for ‘real’ kegs. It can theoretically ‘force carbonate’ beverages, which means taking an uncarbonated beverage and exposing it to high CO₂ pressures while chilled in the fridge, with the effect of carbonating the beverage overnight. However, its ability to do that is suspect, because typically more pressure and better regulators are required for such a process. However, I will be keg/bottle conditioning my beer anyway, which means adding a bit of corn sugar to the brew immediately before bottling or kegging. The few remaining yeasties eat the sugar and make a tiny bit of alcohol and some CO₂. Because they are now sealed tight in the bottle or keg instead of being in a fermenter with a bubbling airlock, the CO₂ they create carbonates the beverage automagically. The process takes between 2 and 3 weeks. After that, the beverage is either consumed all at once, as in a bottle, or consumed in a system that can maintain CO₂ pressure on the container so that the carbonation isn’t lost, like the Tap-A-Draft. I’ll let people know how the system works once I get it.

I wonder if in 164 years our current text books will sound this ridiculous and humorous. I can only hope so. Even if our science becomes dated and outlandish, at least people will get a good laugh out of our utterly false, yet quaintly charming, blunders though the world of the unknown. For an example of what we will sound like to our children’s children, read this excerpt below, emphasis added. They actually got quite a bit correct considering the time period, but missed the mark on a few amusing key points.

Solution of the Secret of Alcoholic Fermentation:

Beer yeast, when dispersed in water, breaks down into an infinite number of small spheres. If these spheres are transferred to an aqueous solution of sugar they develop into small animals. They are endowed with a sort of suction trunk with which they gulp the sugar from the solution. Digestion is immediately and clearly recognizable because of the discharge of excrements. These animals evacuate ethyl alcohol from their bowels and carbon dioxide from their urinary organs. Thus one can observe how a specifically lighter fluid is extruded from the anus and rises vertically whereas a stream of carbon dioxide is ejected at very short intervals from their enormously large genitals.

Source: Frederich Woehler and Justus von Liebig, Annals of Chemistry, vol. 29, 1839.

They say that you learn something new every day. Today was no exception, as I learned a very helpful lesson that will stick with me for my entire life.

Don’t put beer bottles that still have their labels on them into the dishwasher, unless you want to be treated to a clogged drain and the acrid odor of scorched paper as the heating elements wreak havoc on the loosened labels that have become entangled amongst them. All is well now, but the experience has left me a little weary, and a little wiser.

This evening we bottled our champagne creation. It has been brewing for quite a while now, and finally became ready to bottle. I transferred the goodness out of the carboy into a big pail. We added corn sugar, which will provide the impetus to carbonate inside the bottle. This is the superior way of doing it, known as ‘bottle conditioning.’ The inferior alternative is to precarbonate, but thats no good, and certainly not viable for upper-crust types such as ourselves.

After mixing in the corn sugar, we used a handy siphoning tool with a valve on the end. Press the end of the valve against the bottom of the bottle, and wine flows. Lift, and the flow stops. Its perfect. Then we pressed the special champagne caps on, and affixed the wire holders. Now its time to design a label, and wait 6 weeks. Then, its party time, you better believe.

A little fact about me that many people aren’t aware of is that the house I live in is on a vineyard. In fact, it is right up against the brewery of the vineyard. Behind the house lies the plantation of grapes, where farmers busy themselves harvesting the fall crops. Inside, we begin the long process of juicing the grapes, and preparing for this years vintage wines.

Tonight, we began the preparation of some fine sparkling wine. The yeast is hungry, and the juice is fresh and sweet. In several weeks time, the first bottles of our sparkling wine will be available through fine wine merchants around the world. However, the prudent wine connoisseur will delay their gratification, as our vintages only improve with age.

Actually, only part of that is true. We are making sparkling wine, but not because we live on a vineyard, or own a brewery, but because we assembled a kit, and purchased wine making supplies! Tonight we put the juice in with the yeast that had been incubating for the past 48 hours. Eventually we will add that to bottles, and add the corn sugar which will initiate the fizzing process, which will result in delicious sparkling wine. In fact, we have the right to call it what it is, Champagne, because the juice is from grapes from the Champagne area of France! Any other ‘Champagne’ that does not contain grapes from that region can not be legitimately called ‘Champagne.’

In several weeks, our vintage will be ready, bottled, and labeled. Then we will invite over friends, and get our drink on in a most sophisticated of manners.